So... I woke up the other day and thought... how'd I get so fat?  This thought didn't suddenly appear out of nowhere... it had been rolling around (hah... fat... rolling) in the back of my mind for some time.  Of course, whenever I thought of my ever-increasing waistband, there were a ton (hah... fat... ton) of accompanying thoughts: some weight gain is understandable in this situation, it's difficult to exercise when you're having surgery every other month, people are supposed to gain weight after menopause, being happy is more important than being healthy.  After I worked through all of those thoughts I decided I probably ought to get around (hah... fat... round) to losing some weight if I didn't want to be fat forever.  I started exercising again.  I changed my eating habits.  I did a lot of things.  What I didn't do was lose weight.

I went online to research this and found out that loads (hah... fat... loads) of other women were confused about their weight gain during cancer treatment.  I have since written a journal entry about what I discovered and what I think of it here:

'having cancer can make you fat'

I'd like to get the word out that weight gain is a common side effect with some cancer treatments... ideally I'd like women to not suffer alone as they struggle with their weight gain because they don't realize that it's happening to so many other women and it's not something they can control right now.  But, since this is the photo section, I'm going to stick to photos here.  Read the journal entry if you want the accompanying wall of text.

It's a lot easier to post slender, edgy post-surgery photos than it is to post
puffy faced, rolls of back fat post steroid treatment photos.  Go figure.

To be fair to my plastic surgeon, my chest reconstruction isn't turning out nearly
as lumpy as it looks in this photo... I think it was the lighting and the way I was
leaning over because there isn't really a comfortable way to stand when you've
suddenly gained thirty pounds.

This is a much better view of how smoothly my reconstruction is healing, also a
grand view of my giant rolls of back fat that I can feel any time I stand up straight.
I am currently hunched over as I type this, because it's more comfortable.

This is a good demonstration of how disproportionate steroid weight gain can be...
in the past when I've gained weight my proportions have stayed fairly consistent,
but now my upper body is huge.  It kind of seems to me the way old men gain weight.

Why yes, yes I do have old man beer belly.  Thank you steroids.  It's what I always wanted.

One of the few outfits that still fits, although that used to be a wrap shirt and not a shirt
that just ties together in the front.